Before the Avengers

I’ve been a huge fan of the Avengers comic since I was a kid. My dad gave me and all the kids some money to go to the store and get toys and books so we’d stop tearing up the funeral home (it’s a long story.) Bottom line: I bought this and I loved it. Since then, I think I’ve read just about all 200 first issues. The 1990s were a tough time for the Avengers, but lots of Marvel comics began to be translated to film. And that wasn’t always a good thing. I’m incredibly excited to see the Avengers this weekend, but here are some not-so-great Marvel films:

Hey the X-Men are popular but are too expensive for us to license.. let’s go with  the least expensive and least interesting spin-off and shoot it in the most boring way possible!

David Hasselhoff IS Nick Fury! are words no one wanted to hear. I felt like I was somehow watching Hasselhoff’s inner dream of a movie instead of an actual movie with writing and directing and, oh yeah, acting.

I know the quality is terrible on this clip, but it doesn’t really matter. From a TV movie, The Hulk Returns… there was a Thor and a Donald Blake… I remember reading at the time that they were hoping to spin-off Thor and Donald as a crime-fighting comedy duo.  Od’s Blood!

The 80s version of Captain America. Even as a kid I was like, “Really?” Cap deserves better than this…

 

This Fantastic Four movie was so bad that it’s never been officially released! I had a bootleg VHS copy and watched it ONCE. Though, to be fair, it’s not that much worse than the 2005 Fantastic Four movie. With the Avengers raking in the dough, it may be time for a FF reboot?

Alright, see you at the Avenger’s Mansion!

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