The Christmas Gnome

Ah, the iO Holiday Party.

For as long as I can remember, it’s always been crowded chaos. With free food, free drinks and a “Nasty Santa” (the gift giving game where you can steal each other’s presents) for all IMG_2515the teams it gets pretty crazy pretty fast. Maybe my memory is off, but as I recall it has always been too many people in one room, but with fun and friends.

Some random memories:

– one year Brian Jack gave out CDs of Christmas music he made himself on GarageBand and then refused to play anything else on the speakers

– someone put a gift of a large amount of, uh, herbal “glaucoma medicine” under the tree and people kept stealing it from each other all night (no limits!) but the stealers kept vanishing and the amount traded was smaller and smaller

– Amber Tillett took photos for months and then cut and pasted improvisers faces on the “models” in a super-graphic porn magazine. It’s hilarious. It came back for years and years but it’s gone now.. no one knows where it is or who has it. Which brings us to….


I don’t rightly remember who brought it (I think it might have been Sammy Tamimi), but one year someone gifted a lawn gnome. For some reason it became very popular and everyone DB556802fought over it. And then again, the next year.. the Christmas Gnome returned! This went on for years! Finally, it became this tradition for the Gnome to return and to guarantee that it would return, Charna gave it’s possessor immunity from being cut from the team roster! The Christmas Gnome was an Immunity Idol! That just made it more precious!

As you might expect it was fiercely fought over (ah, Christmas)… and then, like all unique items, it disappeared. Someone had it and was still cut! So, they took the Gnome with them (and, I think, the Improv Porn Magazine… I think the two items were combined for some time. I’m not sure, to be honest.)

So, we’ve been without our Christmas Gnome for a few years. The darkest timeline, indeed.

This year, mixed into the gift exchange was this guy. IMG_2534

I loved it and instantly wanted to have it. When I had the chance I stole it. I crossed my fingers because in the past I have never left with the gift I actually wanted (one year I actually “won” a half empty bottle of Wolfschmidt Vodka.) But, I made it! So, next year, 2014, in the new iO building, the new Christmas Gnome will this good sir. I give you the Christmas Knome!


I’m looking forward to seeing you there!



Yours Truly, holding Sir Knome, and posing with the delightful Linda Orr.

Yours Truly, holding Sir Knome, and posing with the delightful Linda Orr.



2 comments on “The Christmas Gnome

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