Why Chicago IS Star Wars

Lucas-Death-Star-Chicago-skyline-2Chicago will soon be the home of the Lucas Museum of Narrative Arts! It will be a 17(!) acre facility on the lakefront and what better city for it to be in than CHICAGO?! Chicago is the perfect city for this interactive education installation and blah blah blah here’s a hilarious list:

 

City is plagued by evil droids with weird names like Parking Meter and Street Corner Surveillance Camera.

Last September my taun-taun froze before I reached the first marker.

Homeless people ride in your redline car to hide their numbers (but not their smell.)

One is a racially segregated mess of violence and the other is Star Wars.

o-CHICAGO-PARKING-ALDERMEN-facebook“That’s no museum; that’s a tourist trap.” The innocent people in the movies had to deal with an evil empire building a giant, unnecessary, expensive monstrosity.

Combined Potholes > Sarlacc Pit.

Plenty of concern and speculation over who will lead the franchise next.

Wrigleyville on a hot summer day during a doubleheader: You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Evil leader is missing upper appendage but is dangerous none-the-less.

When you tell this city that you love it; by recycling, volunteering, paying taxes and moving ALLL the way into the car, it responds, like a jerk, “I know” and raises your taxes, drops 20 degrees in 4 hours, and sneaks a pound of cheese into your pizza.

 

You've failed me for the last time, Alderman...

You’ve failed me for the last time, Alderman…

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