A Prayer For Those Moving Away



As you fly from our lake shores

and say goodbye to old friends

may you enjoy as many smiles

as you created here.

May your new home

contain all the dreams you’re chasing.

May your new home

come to realize what we know;

That you’re great,

That you’re hilarious,

That you’re better than any one city.


Come back to us

when you’re homesick

Come back to us

to brag and be a famous dick

Come back to us

Just to

Come back to us.


Your home, Your friends, Your theaters

will still be here.

Good luck, fare well

they’re lucky to have you.



Advice for Improv Auditions

Someone asked me for a list of improv audition tips that I had blogged years ago. Sadly, that blog is lost to time, but, as with all thing improv, it must be updated and renewed! So, I reached out to some iO Theater vets (especially the people who run the iO auditions) for some advice for the upcoming auditions, but they really apply to all auditions that use improv. Check it out.

CESAR JAIME: Hard as it may be, don’t go in trying to showcase your ‘talents’, go in trying to showcase and elevate other people. These sort of moves that will get you noticed a lot more.

People watching you are your peers and they want you to succeed. Keep that in mind when you get nervous about what people will think of you and or your audition.



1. play with everyone in your audition group as if they are a potential teammate and not as if they are your competition.

2. have clear and interesting relationships. If you start with conflict or find a ‘problem’ with your scene partner just because you have nothing else, the auditors will usually be hoping for an edit soon. Most negativity in the auditions comes from fear, so try and be positive and be playful you won’t be playing from a place of fear.

3. if you treat someone in your group like they suck and their ideas suck, we will not call you back. If you’re with people who haven’t had as much experience as you’ve had, use that as an opportunity to make them look amazing and set an example of support.

4. It’s obvious if you try and shoehorn in a scene/idea you’ve thought about before the auditions. Please don’t do that. It’s never the hit you think it will be.

5. show us you have range, show us your comedic POV, show us you’re having a blast playing pretend on stage.

6. If you’ve been in 6 scenes in 20 minutes, back off. If you haven’t been out there in 20 minutes, what are you waiting for?

that’s about it.

Hope this is helpful!



… as far as I’m concerned:

1)Can you listen

2) can you stay line by line moment by moment

Propaniacs3) what is your “and”. Is it truth in comedy? Dynamic and creative yet playable? Or is it : that  line everyone says for when that happens in the roommate scene (for example)

4) why are you a great teammate and improvisor. See steps one and two…



1. dress for an audition

2. Be aware of how much you are in it. That goes both ways – you look just as bad if you are in every scene.

3. You score major points when you take care of/make others look good.



It seems that the most common trait is the person who supports someone else. Good advice in general, really. Good luck and have fun! I’ll add some of my own:

– Don’t TRY to be funny. Make connections, make group moves, relate to your scene partner emotionally— that will be more effective and funny in the long run.

– Don’t judge some one else during the auditions.. c’mon, there’ll be plenty of time for that later with your friends. (JK). Support it and have fun with it.

– This audition, and no audition until my Hunger Games fanfic is made into a movie, will cost you your life. Remember that you decided to do improv because it’s fun and you love it. Keep your sense of play.

Wherein I Gout Myself Publicly

I have gout. I first got it because I made a bet about eating all the shrimp in Las Vegas. The shrimp won. So now, I have tiny twinges about once a month, but then I get big flare-ups about twice, maybe three times a year.

goutIt’s during these big flare-ups you might see me limping about or sometimes I just disappear. It may be too painful to walk for a day or two and/or, to be perfectly honest, too embarrassing to be seen limping about.

Now, let’s talk about gout. Lots of people have it nowadays and I know several people in the improv community who have it as well. It’s extremely embarrassing to talk about for me. I hate discussing things of a personal nature in public. I mean, I never talk about my Nobel Prize. It’s embarrassing. I’m no doctor, I know what (usually) works for me. If you want to know more, encarta “gout.” (good lord… do NOT image search “gout” holy cow it’s gross. So here’s a happy pic of Jesus playing basketball)

Is it painful? Quite. Sometimes an entire foot will swell up, as if a cartoon mouse stuck a3000158 garage air hose into it. When that happens it’s very painful. A bedsheet, the air from a fan, wiggling your toes, all are extremely painful, much less putting your weight down on it and trying to walk. Sometimes, it might be a relatively small dime sized protrusion on the heel which doesn’t really hurt to walk on except if you wear shoes. Once in a while, my knee will swell and then it only hurts if you bend the knee (which I will never do, Lannister!!)

I used to live quite close to iO, my place of business and social activity, but now the walk from the subway to the theater is further than I’ve ever had to walk from my home to the theater. So, that sucks.

I hate public discussion of personal matters, so why am I posting this? As way of public apology to be honest. I’ve missed birthdays, dinners, and other fun events because I’m laid up at home. I never tell anyone why I suddenly disappeared, because I’m embarrassed. Trust me, I’d much rather be with friends then home hopping about.

Also, I’ve been a bit of a prig lately… as I walked with a limp people ask “Are you alright?” and I’ve answered, Yes this is a fun fake limp. Or it’s weird if someone asks if I’m in pain and I just stare at them and say Yes.

So, I’m sorry, everyone. I’m cranky. We’ll be returning to our regularly scheduled merriment soon enough.

For years, I collected sword canes. I had about six really cool sword canes and then God/Destiny/Fates/Random Coincidence/Alanis Morrisette decided “Oh, you like canes? What if you HAVE to use one? Moooo-ahahahahahahah!!!”

I have gout and it’s embarrassing. I hate it. I hate having people know about it. But why hide it? It’s a medical condition. Accepting help, especially asking for help, is tough for me. So was writing this. Thank you for your patience.

If you thought it was hard for me to write this what till my inevitable essay on my manic depression. Hhahahaha. I hate myself. Hey, let’s look at Jesus b’balling again.



I looked up “famous gout sufferers” and all of them are crazy and/or fat. (Dick Cheny, Luciano Pavarotti… and Ansel Adams.. so he’s neither. He’s pretty cool.)